A Night Out
by Haberdashing
Summary: Transcendence AU one-shot. The Pines twins' parents try and fail to have a relaxing night out.


Anna and Mark Pines gave each other a quick kiss as they exited the restaurant. The two of them had been needing a night out for quite some time; Mark had been having a rough time at work lately, and… well, nothing was easy lately. Nothing was ever easy for them since the Transcendence, since… since they'd had to find out what their son had become. And they had thought that raising a pair of _normal _twins had been difficult! But spending an evening at a fancy restaurant, splurging on some of the best steaks that money could buy while sitting at a table lit by soft candlelight, had helped at least a bit of that overwhelming stress evaporate.

The two held hands as they walked to the far end of the parking lot, smiling as they hadn't in quite some time. Everything was peaceful, was _normal_ for once, and in that moment, they could pretend that this blessed normalcy was going to last.

Well, until a young woman ran up to them, her face a perfect portrait of terror.

"Can you two please help me? I can't find my car anywhere! I think it might have been stolen!"

The young woman had short, wavy auburn hair, and wore a pair of thin wire-frame glasses that were currently heavily smudged, her face reddened and wet with tears. She looked a little like one of their granddaughters might look when they grew up in a few years, though they were already even taller than the woman was.

Anna and Mark exchanged a quick glance, then nodded in unison. They couldn't leave a poor young lady like her in need of help, could they? Maybe doing a good deed for her would be the perfect way to wrap up their perfect night.

"Alright, just follow me… I think it was over here somewhere…" She gestured vaguely to the middle of the parking lot, which was packed with cars, with few empty spaces to be seen.

"It's a black four-door sedan, do you see anything like that around here?" Several cars fitting that description were in the area.

Anna was the first to point out the discrepancy. "Can you be more specific? There are a lot of black cars around here…"

"Well, there's not anything too special about it, really… I keep wanting to put bumper stickers on it, but I never quite remember to get around to it…"

As the woman's voice trailed off, she stopped in front of a white car that currently held a number of occupants. "I think it was right here, right in this spot!"

"Well, I don't think this is it, then…" Mark frowned. "I'm sorry, but I think your car really was stolen."

The woman tapped her foot against the ground in a rhythmic pattern, the sound surprisingly loud against the dark pavement of the parking lot. "I can't believe it! I thought this was such a nice place, and then something like _this_ happens?" She put her hands on her hips and looked downward.

Anna patted her gently on the shoulder. "Don't worry, dear, I'm sure everything will be alright…"

The woman grabbed their hands tightly. "I just… I just…"

The two of them leaned in to comfort her further, but instead of the sobbing that they had expected to hear, the woman let out a sharp whistle.

Everything moved fast after that.

The people who had been in the car jumped out and surrounded Anna and Mark, who were too surprised to make anything but a token struggle. Before their minds had even fully processed what was going on, the group had blindfolded the two of them, tied up their hands and feet, gagged them, and thrown them into the trunk of the car, where their weak wriggling accomplished nothing.

The car ride was long, filled with twists and turns and bumps that made the trapped Pines couple ache. The ropes that bound them proved to be tight and strong, able to resist their attempts to escape from… whatever was going on here. Some kind of kidnapping? It just didn't make sense to either of them.

After some unknown but lengthy period of time, the two were dragged out of the car, carried some distance, and dumped onto cold, wet ground. Only then were their blindfolds removed by a pair of large, callused hands, though the rest of their restraints remained intact.

There was a circle of candles, large, tapered, scarlet candles, and they were in the middle of them all. The circle was lined not only with candles, but with a series of designs drawn in some dark reddish liquid, its identity unmistakable when combined with the odor that permeated the air of the small dark room.

Blood. They were surrounded by a large circle made of blood. The room reeked of blood and raw meat and smoke and mold, the scent alone enough to make them positively nauseous.

And around them stood a number of figures in dark robes, one whose face was instantly recognizable. She had seemed so innocent before, so young, so helpless… but appearances could be deceiving.

"Lord Kushiel!" the woman- the cultist- called out. "We are gathered here today to offer you the sacrifice of those who are most dear to one of your greatest enemies! We hope that this offering will be most pleasing to you, oh Kushiel, the Angel of Demons, the Just God!"

The sick feeling that filled their stomachs only grew as the words sank in. Demon. Enemy. _Sacrifice_.

Anna and Mark Pines looked at one another, their eyes wide with fear and a glimmer of understanding. The pieces were beginning to fall into place.

The group began a Latinate chant, speaking the words in perfect unison… and then abruptly stopping, all of them turning to look at something that had appeared off to one side.

The Pines parents looked as well, and were shocked at what they saw.

It was Dipper… no, it was _Alcor_, Alcor the demon floating in mid-air, her eyes dark, his mouth filled with fanged teeth. He wore a levitating top hat, a formal pair of pants and polished black shoes… and a pink sweater with big black lettering that said "WORLD'S OKAYEST UNCLE", its sleeves extending several inches past his hands.

The room filled with dark laughter.

"And he arrives!" The red-headed woman cried. "Lord Kushiel will be most pleased with your arrival. He shall be glad to bring about your destruction here and now."

The demon rushed over to the cultists' leader, looking her straight in the eye. "Your summoning circle is deeply flawed. Your precious Lord Kushiel will not come to help you."

The woman's whole body shook, and she remained silent, her face pale.

He backed away. "You made a ģrav͟e͜ mistake, messing with me, messing with my loved̀ ̴ones͡. And you shall pay for it."

That voice… that low, echoing voice… was that really the voice of their son?

"Luckily for you, this won't take long." He snapped his fingers, and the cultists just… vanished. One second they were there, and the next they were gone, as if they had never existed in the first place.

Anna and Mark's restraints magically loosened and fell away from them, and the gag was removed from their throats. Their eyes were still as wide with terror as when the cultists had surrounded them, preparing for their "sacrifice".

The demon transformed into the shape of Dipper as he had been when he was only twelve, in the ordinary human outfit that he had worn nonstop for weeks on end, though his eyes were still dark and demonic.

"I'm so sorry." he whispered.

In a flash of light, they were in front of their car as if nothing had happened, as if their kidnapping had been nothing but a bad dream.

Anna and Mark held onto one another, their whole bodies shaking and aching and sweating, their lips holding back a great number of questions that they might never have answered.


End file.
